I am so exhausted. It’s a good exhausted, mostly, but it’s far more mental and spiritual than physical.
I spent the day at church, and after the service witnessed a lengthy (but remarkably peaceful) business meeting regarding offering church asylum to a member who was being threatened with deportation to his home country, where he had fled persecution by extremists, (and, in case you were wondering, the church voted unanimously to offer him asylum, which means he’ll have to live in the church and be unable to leave the church grounds for six months, at which point he can be reconsidered for a visa).
After the meeting, I rode out to the house of the couple who were hosting the BBQ with another couple. It was a generally fun afternoon – though, here in Germany, barbequing apparently has nothing to do with barbeque sauce or spices, just generally with cooking outdoors – but very stressful on the mind. The people were all very nice, but there were a lot of awkward silences when no one had anything to say and forced conversation – I think we talked about cats more than anything else. It was the one common denominator; everyone either had a cat or at least a cat story. Kind of funny to think about, actually. :D
I don’t know – I mean, I really like these people, but I feel very disconnected. These aren’t really the sort of friends I would make in ordinary circumstances – other than cats, the only thing we really have in common is the church we all attend. Which is important, but… Yeah, I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to convey is that I miss my nerdy friends with whom conversation is so easy. It’s one thing to share a language (and that was a nice thing, everyone there spoke English all day as it was the one language we all shared) and another thing to share that connection that makes people really able to understand each other.
I’m tired today – and I’m not complaining, trust me. I really did have a great time, and I’m so grateful to God for putting this church and these people here as a connecting point. But I do have to admit that, in spite of being surrounded by people, I was rather lonely today. It will get better as I learn the language and get to know people better, I know. Today was a somewhat uncomfortable baby step, but it was a step in the right direction. Connections being made, bridges being built and all that.
At the same time, I’m very thankful that a) I’m pretty content with entertaining myself most days, what with my books or writing or whatever (I have read almost eight books in two weeks. Score!) and b) for the Internet, with which I can contact my family and my friends – I don’t know if I could have done this in the days before Internet. So thank God for that!
So that’s my day – long, a little lonely, but overall good and blessed. As a very wise woman used to tell me, today was an excellent day because I am walking in the blessings of the most high God. And that makes every day excellent, whether it was good by my standards or not. :D True wisdom, right there.
And that’s all for today. Good night, all! I go to prepare for The Monday.